Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hellion's Top Ten Terrible Trends

10. Wedge Heels

Who needs a good, sturdy foundation? After all, it's just your feet. Forget the fact that your feet have that pesky thing they call YOUR ENTIRE BODY depending on them. What ever happened to real shoes? The way I see it, if I can't walk, dance, run and fight in a pair of shoes - they aren't worth buying. 



9. Social Networking References


Not only does everyone want to know what everyone likes and is doing at all times, but now they want to market the fact that they are liking and doing things. Seriously, who gives a shit? Apparently, you do.



8. The Anti-Religion Movement


A personal pet peeve of mine.

Remember how the way back in the day, the Christians condemned everyone for their beliefs? Way to be exactly like them, folks. These days, it's cool to be an intolerant douchebag. I'm not a Christian, but I feel no need to piss all over someone else's beliefs either. Groups against religion are like any other hate group. Individuals against religion are morons. If you don't like something, so be it - but to actively participate in hating it makes you stupid, period. I especially don't get the accusations that people use religion as a crutch. EVERYONE uses SOMETHING as a crutch now and then. Besides, in a country where drugs, alcohol and casual sex are used as crutches all the time, it's no wonder so many Americans have issues with religion. I'd rather befriend someone who used religion as a crutch than someone who is constantly tripping all over their own ignorance. 



7. PETA


Just stop, already. You people are disgusting. I love animals, but if my dog knew what these folks were up to, she'd skin them and wear them as a poncho. That is, if she had thumbs. Which she doesn't, because she's a fucking dog.  Besides, everyone who actually does their research (yes, all 5 of you) knows that PETA does very little to actually help our furry/feathery/scaly friends. This group isn't about helping animals, it's about crazy people getting naked and covering themselves in blood for media attention. If I wanted to see that, I'd watch ANY MOVIE. 



6. American Remakes of Perfectly Good Foreign Films


Speaking of movies, quit being so fucking lazy and read the subtitles. 10 times out of 10, the original is better. You're really going to throw away the chance to see an already perfect film just because you might have to use your reading skills? Remaking these films is just a huge waste of money. What? Can't watch a film unless you can pronounce the actors names? Maybe there is such a thing as too American. Also, this shows Hollywood can't come up with any original ideas. Get on that, will you?





5. Bumper Sticker Extravaganzas


I am pretty sure this qualifies as car abuse. Perhaps there should be a legal limit to the amount of bumper stickers one can stick on their car. Whether you agree or not with the opinions of the person in front of you, you should be driving, not reading. I live in a city that loves bumper stickers, especially political ones. The more bumper stickers I see on the car in front of me, the more I can tell I wouldn't like the driver. 
Look, I don't give a shit who you voted for 3 years ago, what kind of dog you have, whether or not Jesus loves me, where your kid goes to school or what Scooby would do. I have somewhere to be, and you need to get the fuck out of my way.



4. Store Brand Logo Shirts


Derp. Guess where I shop?? Having a favourite store is fine. Paying over $35 for a t-shirt made out of tissue paper to let everyone know what your favourite store is? Now that's just babytown frolics. 


3. Shutter Shades


Come on now. I don't care if you can see through these things or not, they look flat out ridiculous. They didn't look cool in the 80's and they don't look cool now. 


2. Skinny Jeans for Men + sag


Now I personally think skinny jeans on guys is a bad idea, but hey - whatever floats your boat.  What is inexcusable is when guys try to sag their skinny jeans. Everyone with even a smidgen of taste is aware that wearing your jeans low to the point where I know what underwear you're wearing (or lack thereof) just makes you look stupid, but saggy skinny jeans? I cannot even comprehend why anyone would think that's a good idea. Some folks may like to see women's cleavage, and some folks like jeans that accentuate the package, but ass crack doesn't look good any way you slice it. It also makes you guys walk funny, but you probably don't notice that, as you're too busy trying to look cool. Well, here's your word of the day: FAIL.


1. Reality EVERYTHING

Just stop. 

If it has a pulse, it can be reality star famous. That's pushing it... it may not necessarily need a pulse.  The best part is, 99% of it is fake. Congratulations world, we are now so bored with reality, we created a new one.









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